Today is self-injury awareness day. Not exactly a ticker tape parade, feel-good kind of day. Honestly, thoughts of self harm were not forefront in my mind. I was able to work out and grocery shop with no self-harm thoughts. Not saying there weren’t odd thoughts,just not ones like that.
Usually when I am running, I try to just focus on my breathing, or how my body is moving. Today, I was very aware of thoughts rattling around in my head that were disjointed and random, the kind of thoughts I have when insomnia strikes.
My friend Julia has touched on the subject of meditating this week (you can read her post here tinyurl.com/bmndwh5 ) and meditating/quieting the noise in my head is something I work on daily.
Going back into therapy has certainly caused me to take a look at past events I would rather forget, but I know resolving the feelings is the largest part of my recovery. The snippets of conversation whirling around in my head are starting to become more positive, and I can feel some of the revelations in therapy settling into my soul. I call this my version of awareness.
I am aware I am so much more than self harm, a food allergy sufferer, a health care worker. I am a flawed but still incredible human being made up of a billion things. I am capable of so much and I am seeing light ahead of me.I know there will be bumps in the road, but lately I am feeling confident that I can handle the changing tides a bit better than before.