I refer to myself as “a work in progress”. We all are, really. The world forces us to change, in a sense, but we can control whether the changes are good or bad. I’ve been through so much change in the last several years, what with moving across the country, getting new jobs, starting new relationships/hobbies that I’m almost getting used to the constant state of flux.
I’ve changed my fitness habits in the last 2 years going from pilates to cycling to running and I find myself winding down on that again. I’ve signed up for a beginner’s yoga class (I have no balance so we shall see how comical this is) and I find myself leaning more towards peace, balance and clarity. I am beginning to study religion again. My eating habits are a million times healthier now due to my food allergy and I am in a stable, loving, supportive relationship. I am evolving, not just changing.
This evolution is noticeable to those around me. My boyfriend, who is the most amazing and supportive person I have ever had the privilege to know, is so happy I am feeling a bit more “up” of late. Sure, I have my down days, but the ratio of bad to good days is about 2:28 now. My co-workers love having me around. That might sound a bit egotistical, but it’s time I start giving myself credit for what I do and how I do it.
I had an interesting conversation with one of my managers at work. He and I were discussing my role working in the emergency department. Not everyone wants to work there, it’s stressful and busy and you see/hear/smell a lot of things you wish you never had. But I thrive there. My manager was asking why I like it so much, and I told him “Because those people are broken, like me. Fixing them is like fixing myself.” I hadn’t really ever thought of it that way until the words came out of my mouth.
Is it karma, or destiny or positive energy being sent into the world? I don’t know, all I know is when I am there, able to help someone on what might be their worst/last day, I get so much back in return. I know what my purpose on this earth is when I am there. I’m so blessed to be able to do that job and leave work feeling like I did something good, not just observed something good.
Change, or evolution, is difficult and slow. But I am finding the benefits far outweigh the discomfort. Everyday we wake up is a chance to do something different, to be someone different, to discover who it is you are meant to be. Embrace the change, grab it with both hands, hold on tight, and thrill in the journey.