Rewriting History

When I say rewriting history, do you think of setting new records? smashing through long-held beliefs? being the first/best/most spectacular to do something?

The rewriting history I’m blogging about today is the rewriting of our personal histories. Age, time and experiences color our memories. This can be either a good or bad thing. For example, if you choose to simply remember the good parts of your relationship with a relative who was less than pleasant, maybe that’s a good thing. Holding on to past hurts or disappointments never helps anything. But then there’s the bad rewrite: when you imagine that something (usually a romantic relationship) happened in such a way that you can never recreate it.

I’ve seen this happen with people before. They imagine that their love is most pure, that their partner never loved anyone before them. They sacrifice their truth and their experiences to develop some sort of image. But why? Is there some pain that demands hiding? Hell, I did this for over 2 years, trying to convince my family and myself that I hadn’t made a mistake being with my ex. The rose colored glasses skewed my own perceptions and feelings after a while.

Yes, it sucks to think that maybe things weren’t so great, or so bad for that matter. Being authentic and honest with yourself is a million times more important than worrying about what other people think about you. In reading books on Buddhism, the idea of “mindfulness” and “being in the present” are prevalent. I can tell you that living in the present has made me happier than I’ve been in years.

My history is one of betrayal, hurt, embarrassment, triumph, joy, travel, learning, food, laughter, snuggling,  love, loss and friendship. Changing one part of it (even in a little white lie) would alter everything I have now. I believe in being honest with myself and am learning to love myself as I am.  I think we’d all be a lot happier if we worried about the person you see in the mirror, rather than the image we try to portray on Facebook or Twitter.

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