Days like today are hard. I’m forced to look at choices I made, nitpick them, second guess myself and face some hard truths.
I’ve learned I absolutely need to love myself before I can expect someone else to love me in the way that I deserve. This is not negotiable. I have an incredibly hard time being good to myself as well as accepting myself as I am. That being said, I do realize I’ve come a long way in respecting myself. I will not allow myself to be left behind, to be used or to sacrificing the things I truly want simply for fear of rocking the boat.
I’ve learned poor communication and unrealistic expectations can tank the best of relationships. As much as it breaks my heart to admit it, I need to step out of the lives of certain people as it’s the best thing for me. I need to focus on myself, on accepting myself and loving myself.
It took pretty much everything in me to get out of bed today. A debilitating migraine and broken heart can do that. I want to binge eat and cry and just be a huge mess. But I reflect on the break up I went through with my ex-fiancee, which pretty much came close to killing me. I survived that, I know I can get through these current hard times.
I want to thank those who have reached out to me, from 1800 miles away to 4 blocks over. Your love and support mean so much to me.
(credit: Sean Loyess via Flickr Creative Commons)