Demons

I’ve always found solace in music. My current song of the moment is Demons by Imagine Dragons. I don’t know if I could write a song that expresses how I feel having bipolar that works better than this. 

First off, I love the way the video shows what experience each listener has/memory they have as they listen to the song. And don’t even get me started on the end- I get so verklempt. But the lyrics are what get me. The fear I have in regards to having a relationship despite being bipolar is captured in the lines “don’t wanna let you down/but I am hell bound/though this is all for you/don’t wanna hide the truth”. The chorus of “don’t get too close, it’s dark inside it’s where my demons hide” hits so close to home when it comes to my often self-imposed loneliness. 

I am sure we all fear we aren’t good/pretty/smart/funny/rich enough for our partners. It’s a fear that eclipses any human category that exists. The desire to be everything our partner needs (as well as needing so much in return) is so poignantly voiced with “your eyes they shine so bright/ I wanna save that light/ I can’t escape this now/unless you show me how”. 

The song (as far as I know) was not written about mental illness, but it sure does fit well with the way I feel most days. I love the universality of music, the way lyrics written by one or two people can speak for the emotions of millions. I definitely find music to be therapeutic in a sense. It can give me hope, provide me with a release, help me to cry, cheer me up and it always expresses my mood, no matter where I am bipolar-wise.

Is there a song that you truly love? that defines a time in your life or a struggle you faced/overcame? Please share it in the comments!

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