Stormy Weather and the Return of the Paramour

It’s been a gloomy past few weeks. Migraines have been sidelining me and just when I think things are calming down, something pops up.

The Paramour and I had a major falling out months ago and we really haven’t spoken since then. The primary reasons for our argument were his alcoholism and his inability to accept my mental illness. I tell myself to forget about him, but once I care about someone, it’s nearly impossible to just turn those feelings off. So when I do run into him at work, it’s always a mess of emotions that I struggle to handle.
I heard from the Paramour’s  co worker that his drinking is worse, to the point he could lose his job. Paramour looks awful, swollen, exhausted- nothing like the handsome, mischievous guy I fell for so long ago.
Besides praying for him, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what to do with my feelings for him. I do not want to try to save him-that is his choice and responsibility. I feel like we are both treading water and losing sight of the shoreline.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Stormy Weather and the Return of the Paramour

  1. Hi Lisa,

    I recently came across your blog. I must say that I think you are a great writer and it’s refreshing to hear from a Bipolar sufferer who is functioning in society and is not morbidly stuck at home.

    I made the mistake of quitting a high paying corporate job to move in with my parents four years ago. I figured I would get some rest before restarting and here I am stuck. In hindsight it was a decision made in a mixed episode.

    Hoping you come out this recent funk soon. Just remember to take care of yourself first

    Keep on keepin on!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s