A Sad, Soggy Mess

The last few months have found me suffering from my migraines a bit more than previously. This combined with the bipolar and financial worries have me feeling so incredibly stressed out. The frustration with the migraines is really the worst part of it, but it exacerbates nearly every other problem I’m having in a vicious cycle. I get a migraine, so I call off of work, lose pay for that day and then I stress about money. Then I start beating myself up for it, saying that I should have gone in to work, I should be more responsible with my money, etc etc. This sends me into a depression, I stop taking care of myself, and then we’re back to square one.

I go to a migraine clinic tomorrow, where I will, once again, undergo various tests, answer a billion questions and then leave, feeling no more relieved, understood or hopeful. I keep trying to have hope, to think that maybe this neurologist will have the answers, that they will find the magic drug to take away the pain. The research I have done on my own has revealed there is a huge comorbidity of migraine and bipolar. This particular information has resulted in me having a cartoonish image of just what my brain looks like with all of it’s neurological and biological flaws.

The last few days I have felt especially tearful, but I refrain from crying because that, too, gives me a headache. I truly am a sad soggy mess at present.

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7 thoughts on “A Sad, Soggy Mess

  1. I’m bipolar and get a lot of migraines. Years ago they did all manner of tests, and found nothing sinister causing them, just “stress”. I know how worrying about money can compound the depression, i have money woes myself and unless i’m manic it really weighs me down. I hope you find some respite from the migraines and stress, i can’t do anything about them expect for take aspirin (genuinely works better than oxycodone for migraines!) and lay in a dark room til it passes, the kids love that but not much else works

  2. I am a migraine sufferer, too. In the past several years I have discovered a couple of triggers for my migraines. One is splenda. Another is the weather. I was surprised to find out, after having a sleep study, that I have sleep apnea and I stop breathing in my sleep about 44 times per hour and my oxygen saturation drops. This explains a lot of my headaches.

    Have you ever had a sleep study?

  3. So sorry about your migraines. My son has gotten debilitating migraines since he was a toddler. No one should have to suffer that kind of pain and misery. Hope someday we unlock the mysteries of the brain and are able to better treat or even cure migraines.

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