1825 Days

Tomorrow marks 5 years since my relationship with my ex-fiancee started. It was truly a beautiful start and we had so much promise. He was my best friend, my champion, my greatest supporter. I was so looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him, only to be irreparably broken.

There is no way to explain the way I felt about him. Saying I loved him is too tame a phrase. I felt him in every fiber of my being, and looking at him made my heart swell. I would have followed him to the ends of the Earth (which essentially I did).

I also don’t have words to describe the pain I have felt in the years since we split. I am not the same person I was. I think about all the experiences I had with him, both good and bad, and I am a different person as a result.

How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” Frodo Baggins, Return of the King


3 thoughts on “1825 Days

  1. Wow, my dear. I’ve never felt the intensity you describe – I’ve been on the borderlines, but I can’t imagine it. Please be good to yourself….sending you a gentle hug and a fresh cup of Marley’s coffee. 😉 xoxo

  2. The feelings of your heart being eaten from the inside. It is a very hard thing to get past.
    I’m at 360 days since mine ended. While I know it’s over, it’s still something I think about every day.
    I’m sorry. I know your pain as I’m sure the other 90% of bipolar relationships that have lost loves.

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