Screw Up

I made an error today at work in transcribing information. My coworker who discovered it got pissed, my mind has been less than sharp and she’s tired of cleaning up after me.

The negative voices are screaming in my head: “screw up” “you’re so stupid” “you’re going to get fired” “you never do anything right”.

I am powerless against them. There’s just no energy to fight them tonight. So I’ll take my meds, say a prayer and try to sleep. Here’s to hoping tomorrow is a better day.


2 thoughts on “Screw Up

  1. Oh, my dear. I’m so sorry.
    I’m hoping today is MUCH better for you and that you feel more clear.
    Please, go easy on yourself and tell those nasty voices to go the $%^&* away if they pop up again!

    Perhaps, ***only*** if you are up for it, you think that it might help, and your coworker is there at the next shift, you could briefly let her know (again, I assume) how sorry you are for your error the other day…etc. etc.
    Just to clear the air a bit. Then again, it might not be appropriate. It’s only a thought.

    In the meantime, I KNOW how smart you are from reading this blog!!!!! You are soooo not stupid!!!!!!

    I’m sending you strength, hugs, and good cups of coffee, beautiful Lisa. I’m off to drink more myself, although it’s crappy FrenchRoast from Starfreaks. (I’m a snob…) It just doesn’t float my coffee boat. I didn’t buy it! It’s all that’s in the cupboards. Guess I should be grateful I’m drinking that instead of Sanka or Folger’s, though. Right?

    XOXOXOXO write soon!!!

  2. Dyane,

    As always I appreciate your kind words. This is definitely the worst depressive period I have faced in a while, but I’m still fighting. Dowloaded the DBSA app on my phone to help track everything and looking into group therapy again.
    My biggest concern is that the bipolar makes me unfit to do my job. I usually am able to focus, but it’s become much harder of late. So far, just made small repairable mistakes, but in healthcare, a small mistake could have fatal repercussions. Really checking in with myself to see where to go from here.

    On the coffee note, I’m so lazy I made a K-Cup cup of coffee,,,desperation.

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