Hello my friends, it has been too long. So much has been happening of late, some good, some bad, some neutral. I’ve moved. I’m still swimming in a sea of boxes and containers, but the new place is coming along. So much less stress now to know I have cheaper rent and housemates who can help me when my chronic illnesses flare up. There’s so much to update you on, but honestly my mind is swimming. I’m hypomanic due to all the chaos, so I’m doing the best I can to corral it. Here’s a few things swirling around my head to tell you about, I’m sure I’ll post in greater detail soon:
- I went on 2 dates with a guy who was a friend of a friend. Date #1 was great! He got me flowers, treated, held doors open. Date #2…not so much. And the text messages sent the following day equally not cool (hint: I don’t care about your “very high libido”. That’s a huge turn off)
- My fibromyalgia is pretty bad with all the crazy weather fronts that have come through. But I have started taking some herbs to complement my current therapies for the fibro, my bipolar and my migraines. I’m happy to say the migraines have really gone down in frequency. Is it the herbs? The new living situation? Not sure, but we’ll stick with it for now.
- I’ve been pretty successful in keeping up with meditating each night and doing yoga several times a week. Sleep for the last few days hasn’t been so great, mostly due to the fibromyalgia pain and the move. But I’m confident I can get my sleep habits back to a healthy level again soon.
- http://themanifeststation.net/2015/06/01/the-struggle-is-real-body-love/ THIS POST, YOU GUYS. Jennifer at TheManifeststation.net is speaking some real truths. I felt this post hit me somewhere deep, recalling how upset I was when I stepped on the scale to see how much weight I’ve gained with my medication change (hint: it’s not as much as my mind wants to make it out to be). I applaud her bravery for posting the video, too. I mean, I blog anonymously so I am in awe, for sure. I want to write about my journey with this a little bit more in the future, once I can really figure out what “the feels” I’m having are.
- I meditated with a guided meditation on forgiveness the week before last. During the meditation, I pictured the one person I need to forgive the most (besides myself, of course): my ex-fiancee. It was incredibly moving and emotional, and I actually cried. Afterwards, I felt so free. There is still one person I need to envision with this forgiveness meditation in the future, although I am thinking they are far less guilty than I believe them to be. Since I did the meditation, I have not dreamt of my ex and really haven’t thought much about him at all. Truly freeing.
- Just read “The Girl on The Train”. Totes awesome.
- “Came out” as bipolar to another coworker, which led to a great conversation on therapy, recovering from abusive relationships and just that general happy buzz you get when you find another member of “your tribe”.
- And for the most surprising thing I want to mention: I had a couple of truly awesome, heartwarming experiences in the emergency room last week. Thinking of them almost makes me forget how bad today was. One of them was so special, and one of the people I shared it with means so much to me (to the point I’m pretty sure I am in love with him) that I’m now re-thinking a decision I made so many years ago- the decision to not have children. Obviously, something I need to really go into more detail on after some more thought.
I hope you are all doing well. If you are in a dark spot, please know that I am thinking of you, praying for you, sending love your way.